Welcome to Oncology Post 4

We waited to hear back from the hospital.  My in-laws, Susan, and me.  No one left the apartment.  We just sat around, reading and looking out the windows.  Susan slept constantly.  She was in shock.  After a day and a half someone from the hospital called.  It felt like a week since the diagnosis.  It ...

Still Choppy

07. May 2017 Blog 0
Yeah, it’s been a while.  When I was writing regularly on here, or, “actively processing my grief”, as they say, it helped me greatly.  But I reached the point where I was going to have to start writing about Susan’s treatment, and I got stuck.  I just didn’t want to open that door again.  So ...

A little perspective goes a long way

21. February 2017 Blog 0
(From my personal Facebook account.) An update on my recent rants.   I was talking to a close friend about being utterly alone and friendless in Louisville. As we talked, she made me take a step back and examine my current week. I’m going out to three, possibly four meetups. I’m meeting a friend for ...

Can I get off this ride now please?

21. February 2017 Blog 2
When the depression comes, it’s like a silent locomotive that explodes through the middle of my life without any advanced warning.  It’s been a year and seven months since I lost Susan.  I thought this would all be water under the bridge by now.  I would well embedded in my new life with new friends, ...

A Note on Raymond Carver’s Poem

20. February 2017 Blog 0
Woke up early this morning and from my bed looked far across the Strait to see a small boat moving through the choppy water, a single running light on. Remembered my friend who used to shout his dead wife’s name from hilltops around Perugia. Who set a plate for her at his simple table long ...

“Starting Over” Can Suck It

19. February 2017 Blog 0
Louisville theaters confuse me. Most of them have pretty full seasons, but they only audition once a year. I’m assuming they do a cattle call, and then contact actors to schedule callbacks for individual productions. But it really surprises me that they don’t have more open auditions prior to each show. They must have good ...

A Prayer for Moe

19. February 2017 Blog 0
I was at the gym tonight and I heard an eighty two year old man in the locker room talking about his wife to someone. His story was so beautiful I couldn’t help but listen. He had lost her after twenty years of marriage. It sounded like it hadn’t happened too recently, but not too ...

Note to Self

08. February 2017 Blog 0
Why it’s important to tell even your darkest story . . . This reminded me that I need to get back to work. Remembering and recording what I still remember. I’ve been avoiding doing that. I don’t like that place, and I don’t want to go back there. But allowing myself to go back there ...

Looking Back Looking Forward

09. July 2016 Blog 0
The one year anniversary of Susan’s passing was ten days ago.  It’s hard to believe it’s already been over a year.  It still feels so fresh, like it was only months ago.  This past year was like climbing a mountain.  Now, looking back down at where I was, it’s easy to see how much progress ...