I’m still here!

03. June 2016 Blog 0
The last post was a difficult one for me.  Writing about Susan’s diagnosis brought back all of that early stress.  Cathartic, yes.  But it’s also very tough to go back to that place, and to make myself remember all of the little details.  I took a break.  Then a strange thing happened – I started ...

No Pain, No Gain? My Ass

23. April 2016 Blog 0
I attended my semi-regular Men’s Grief meeting the other night.  At 47 years of age, I’m the baby of the group.  If you can imagine.  I don’t always attend.  Just now and then when I feel like I need to ground myself a bit.  They’re a group of amazing, older gentlemen, who I’ve come to think of ...

Waiting – Post 3

I have no recollection of what happened after we left the hospital.  I remember leaving the hospital. Then my memory skips to Sue’s parents suddenly being at the apartment with us.  They must have flown in from Florida as soon as we told them.  I don’t remember who told them or when.  I don’t even ...

I’d like you to meet my wife . . . Post 2

Many people called her Sue.  I never did.  For the sixteen years that we were together, I always called her Susan.  I once said to her, “Everyone close to you calls you Sue except me.  Would you like me to call you that?”  She said, “No.  I like that you call me Susan.  I like hearing ...

May 2013 – Post 1

An early morning in May 2013. I was sitting in the waiting area of the Norton Suburban Hospital surgical wing.  I took Susan there to have her gall bladder removed.  She had been having sharp pain in her upper abdominal area since late 2012.  It often occurred after she ate something that was too greasy or ...

Singular

03. April 2016 Blog 3
“Our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared“ — Barack Obama   The other day, I was talking to B and she said, “Well, you’re single now, so . . .” Everything she said after that trailed off into muted noises. I’m what? Get outa here, I am not!  Wait . . . am ...

Nine Months

31. March 2016 Blog 0
Today marks nine months since my wife died. It feels less strange to say it now. Until recently, it just seemed too surreal. My brain refused the connection between “death” and Susan. I would say that she “passed away”. That seemed more accurate. Or, that she had left. But not that she died. It felt ...

The iPad

27. March 2016 Blog 0
Susan had an ipad. She loved it. It’s been locked down with a pass code for eight months and seven days. I haven’t had the energy to deal with it. It’s been another reminder of her that makes me sad when I look at it. It was always with her in the hospital. I can ...

Remembering Xmas 2014

25. December 2015 Blog 0
Susan and I never had many holiday traditions. Thanksgiving, sometimes we’d make a turkey for the fun of it. Or not. Christmas Eve, we liked going out someplace nice for dinner. That was about it. No long trips to anywhere. After my parents died, my connection to most of my family became a thin, fragile ...